Crown Royal

I think I am addicted. I mean hard core addicted. I am shaking right now scheming on how I can get my next fix. It could be in my bed, the bathroom stall at the mall or on top of his car in 30 degree weather because he makes me that hot. Everything about this man drives me crazy mentally and physically. From the moment we lay eyes on each other, we don’t come up for air until the condom is filled with his kids. This might be too much information but oh well. I am going to take a wild guess and say if i were to swallow, it would taste like sweet milk laced with honey. I’ll do the leg work and get back to you on that one.

I am going to try and articulate our encounter the best way that I can. I warn you though that it is about to get real. I am sure Jill Scott and I have had sex with the same caliber of men because if I could name him, he would be Crown Royal.

As soon as the door closes behind us, we are no longer in control. There is no logic, no words ( just dirty talk) or awareness of our surroundings. First, it’s his kisses. His lips are the instrument that speaks music into my lips and through my body and the sound that is produced are my moans. It is effortless to wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me because I am feigning for his touch. I think I am against the wall. It feels like I am on Earth but I floating. The candle in the corner causes his silhouette to dance on the walls, making my pussy thump with anticipation. At this moment, he is mine and my body doesn’t object. My bra disappears, my clothes on the floor and my hair is loose. The moment that almost makes me cum early is when I use my index finger to slide his basketball shorts down his hips. I can smell his erect sex and my mouth waters. In my mind I am thinking, “Please let me suck enough of him to quench this thirst that I have. Otherwise, he might be late for work and me for Zuumba in the morning.” And just like the smooth taste of aged whiskey, his dick tastes spiced with anticipation and precum. As I take the length of him in my mouth slowly, the excess spit gathers at the corners of my mouth, making it easy to bob my head up and down. Sucking him and the twist of my hands on his dick sound like someone mixing Mac’ n Cheese (think about that sound). I grab his hips, open my throat and push him deeper until my gag reflex kicks in. He responds with the infamous, “Oh shit,” which makes me not give two fucks about choking myself for an additional five seconds. He is well worth it.

I scoot back on the bed while I watch him fill the condom that would make Trojan makers proud. Our lips connect again like magnets and with one thrust, he is filling my walls. Its perfect. I take shot after shot of his tongue, getting more uninhibited with every stroke. I am tipsy when he grabs my hands and holds them over my head as he grinds into the bottom of my canal. I am making a mental note to look up the nearest Alcohol Anonymous meeting when he puts his forehead to mine and breathes his spirit into me. This goes on until I feel butterflies in my tummy that travel to my spine. I squeeze the upper muscles in my pussy hoping to suppress the feeling that is now making my toes tingle. As I am coercing my insides not to give into the overwhelming feeling of drunkenness, he says the magic words, “Cum on this dick.” And it is over. I explode from the inside out, causing my insides to contract, wrap my legs around him and moan his name.

Himy name is Alicia and I’m addicted to Crown Royal. Help.

Aquafina Flow…

“You just mad because you got served tonight.” Yes. Yes I did.  It is very rare that I am faced with a challenge that I cannot overcome. Even if I doubt myself at first sight, I still go in head first and prosper. I can count on one hand how many guys have actually left me speechless after sex.  Most think they knock it out the park or really give you the ‘D,’ but most of the time women fake it.  That is until you meet a man who I will call Adonis.  He is good looking and charming as hell which is probably why he is in my bed in the first place.  It starts with his hands; they move across your body like he has a cheat sheet to make you leak.  I try to fight it but soon enough my peach is speaking for herself and my clothes have somehow evaporated into thin air. His kisses breathe life into my mouth and it teleports in between my thighs where wetness is manifests.  He knows that I am wet and twiddles my swollen clit in between his fingers. His mouth is everywhere and I love it.  I can tell he is hard as Chinese arithmetic and I free his erection from his boxers. This is when shock sets in; not only is he thick, but he has length too.  My mouth waters and I let him find shelter inside my mouth. Let’s stop right here. Men, I know when you are getting head it feels great right? But what would possess you to grab our hair and push an inch or two more inside our mouths? Some people like it.  I did. A little. It’s the hair thing. Anyone who knows me knows I have a romantic relationship with my hair so any time a man puts his hands in it, get ready for the waterworks.  Ok press play. After I licked him like a lollipop, he tells me he wants me on my knees. I slowly turn around and arch my back because I know that first thrust is going to have me sounding like Monica in Love and Basketball (It ain’t real if she doesn’t gasp). He grips my waist and slides into my wetness. Just when I think he is all in there, he pushes in two more inches. Jada Fire would have thought we were twins the way I was moaning.  Don’t grip my shoulders, don’t press my head into the mattress and don’t ask me ‘whose is it’ because I am going to tell you exactly what you want to hear. Ever notice how good dick just makes you a ‘yes’ woman? Or is it just me.?  Between trying to remember to breathe and not tap out in the first 10 minutes, I was concentrating hard.  I said something smart and he felt the need to punish me with one thrust that scared the shit out of me.  That feeling sends butterflies to my stomach and makes me lose all feeling from the waist down. At that moment, I realize that I will not crumble under his touch or bow down to his dick. I buck up and fuck through the pain in attempts to regain my title as Aquafina.

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Thirty-five minutes and 3 positions later, I am spent and need a serious shower. 

Valentines Day is Approaching…

Valentines

Make my Valentine


It’s now that lovely time of year where the florist shops are busy and Victoria-Don’t-Tell-Nobody sells out of lingerie. Because I am so wonderful and I am very informative, I am going to give you a couple of pointers about how this night or weekend could go down.
Since this is a special occasion, make sure you go all out. The funds should be saved up in advance so that this is an unforgettable night. Guys, this is essentially our holiday to be pampered from head to toe. Please take this responsibility very seriously because if this night blows (not in the good way) you will either not hear the end of it or you will be single. Even if your penis is little, you betta suck the lining out of your girls vagina; make up for it. The first thing you should do is secure a hotel room for the night. You don’t want this to take place somewhere ordinary and regular. And the hotel room gives you a chance to do a something extra like candles and rose petals. Once you got the room, get the chocolates and a Valentines gift. The gift really it is whatever makes your girl happy. Lingerie is nice but I am pretty sure the girl has taken care of that. So try something more meaningful. If you make something, it means you took time to think about it and you really put your heart in it. Next thing is to make the hotel room look romantic. Go to Dollar General and grab a handful of scented candles. Make sure that they are all the same scent. Just a note for guys who don’t buy candles on a regular. It has to be enough to where the room would be lit with all the lights off. There needs to be a law against having lights on during that night because you are so not gone need them. Now that the room and mood is set, add some fruit. For some reason strawberries, chocolate and whip cream come to mind first. I will tell you what to do with those a lil later. Once you have all this together, now its time to add your girl to the mix.
Ladies, since this is our night, we just have to do a lil preparation for him. Make sure that Ms. Kitty is cleaned and shaped up. Shave those legs and buy some of that raspberry shit from Bath and Body Works. You can either where your hair down or through it in a pony tail. If the night goes how I think it will, its gone get fucked up anyway. I would recommend dinner or something prior to the hotel bumping and grinding. When your guy takes you to the room, be surprised and grateful. Thank him and tell him how special he is making you feel. Like I said before, you should take care of the lingerie side beforehand. You should already have something with you, or lack thereof. Go slip into that and come out best smile. Now what takes place after this is up to you all. But ladies, a way to make sure he is yours during this same time next year, is to do what I call the Strawberry Swirl. Men you are really gonna thank my ass whenever you see me. Ladies have your guy stand up and kneel down in front of him. Yes, this required you sucking your mans dick. Get over it. Now, take a strawberry and bite half of it off. Take his penis and suck it with the strawberry. Rub the strawberry around the head and suck it stiff. Just pretty much do you with a piece of fruit. Work it honey and you will have a date for next year sweetie.
So make this Valentines Day very special by catering to your significant other. I say this because I was recently on the Tyra Banks Show for being big, beautiful and loving it. I had to switch places with a skinny girl which was not fun. I was hungry all damn day. But it was truly a learning experience. So big girls, make sure you get your love too because you need it just the like the skinny bitches do. So in conclusion, big girls need love too. And I am going to be getting mine so don’t even be concerned. Use condoms. Until next time, stay safe and stay tuned.


#Throwback: My first column EVER!

Places You Can Get It

Do you remember how excited you used to get when your kindergarten teacher announced a field trip? Well, get even more excited now because we are taking a different kind of field trip. This trip will consist of different places to have sex. Please note that we will discuss the most secretive, devilish places to indulge – not to mention that positions are best for which place and the amount of suspicion you might cause among people. Fellas take out our notebooks and start writing. Ladies, sit there, laugh and tell your girls about the places you have gotten off.
Our first place to have an exciting adventure doing it is the movie theater. Now, you might sit there and say, “Alicia, how did you pull that off?” Well, young grasshopper, it’s very simple.
Ladies, we already know before a man does if we ant to give it up or not. When you arrive at the movie theater and you already have that yearning, make sure you pick a movie you know a lot of people won’t attend. It’s better not to let your partner know that you are about to jump his bones. If you do, your partner might get all excited, and the nut won’t last long. So keep it quiet.
Once you get there, sit down casually and act interested. If you’re down with oral sex, read the next couple of lines. If not, skip down a couple of sentences because this does not apply to you.
Since you made the smart decision to pick a movie without a lot of people in the audience, go to work. Kneel down in front of your man and watch his expression will make what you’re about to do worthwhile. Now men, your job is a little more complicated because your girl is probably wearing pants. Proceed to get on your knees (first time for everything, sir) and unbuckle her pants. Set one leg on the armrest and give yourself full access. 
This is where the regular people start reading again. Please note that during all of this, keep watch for nosy theater staff with flashlights. I have learned from experience to pay off one of the employees, so you won’t have to worry about this. If not, then keep the moaning and slapping noises to a minimum.
The most unsuspicious and feel-good position is the female straddling the male’s lap. This allows full control for the female to work her man and “pop, lock and drop it,” if you know what I mean.
The other position I would recommend I the female holding the seat and the male mounting her from behind. I have also learned from experience that this position is the most fun. It makes the man act like a rabbit and pound you until your curls become a straight do’ again. Once you are done, simply put your clothes back on, which you should have only taken off from the waist down. If you do get completely naked, and you need to keep bumping and grinding in the bedroom and not in public places.
The movie theater is the best way to watch a movie while getting ideas from your own. Unfortunately, the ideal position in this situation do not permit you to look at your partner—which is sometimes a plus. But if you are anything like my friends and I, doing it from the back gives the perfect opportunity to back that thang up and drop it like its hot. Some other advantages are the spontaneity it adds to your relationship. It lets your lover get to know the Rick James “Super Freak” side of you. But do not let this side of you show too damn much because you will start to feel like a female or male gigolo and everything will be screwed. I recommend that you unleash the slut in you only twice a mont—three times if its Christmas, Valentine’s Day or birthdays.
Well, it seems that we will have to make our second trip next time. Stay tuned and stay safe!

fatbabe:

I don’t even watch this show, but I am obsessed with them 

Morgan makes my insides drip.

(Source: heederella)

11,185 notes

Does sex and friends mix?

Would you consider having sex with your friends??

Comment.

Dreamland…

imageI had a wet dream last night. I do not have these often but when I do, it is as fulfilling as the real thing. There is nothing like dreamland to take you to a place where it is okay to sex your friends on comfy couches while watching Baby Boy. While Yvette is screaming, “I hate you Jodi”, I was throwing it back and biting the couch at the same damn time.  But I will start from the beginning.

My apartment happens to be the place where all my friends come to drink and have fun, and this night was no different. As the night goes on, the truth and dares get raunchier and the liquor continues to flow.  We have been friends for a while so why would we cross that line of no return tonight? Beats the shit out of me but something in my panties and in his boxers says it needs to meet.  Everyone is wasted and they eventually leave my place in search of a happy ending as well. He helps me clean up and put things back together all while trying to hide the obvious bulge in his pants. Little does he know, my lips are slippery and re-situating themselves every time I move.  I fall onto my bed and he comes in to check on me. I say that I am fine and will be better when I get out of my clothes.  He knows I only sleep in a t-shirt and that I can’t see straight to grab it so he grabs it for me. I snuggle under my covers and he says that he is going to chill until the room stops spinning. Somehow, we get closer and closer. My head ends up and on his chest and his hand is resting on my outer thigh (don’t you love it when it is right there?). I take a deep breath and smell his cologne mixed with his natural scent and dark liquor. It turns me on and I tell him that we are drunk. I began to breathe harder and it is becoming apparent that I am hot and horny.  My fingers began to trail down his stomach until they are under his shirt and I am playing with his happy trail.  I feel his erection poking through his jeans touching my elbow. I have never been the person to shy away from the things I want so I lean in 90% of the way to kiss him and he came the other 10%. Have you ever noticed when kissing somehow all your clothes come off and before you know it you only have on your birthday suit?  We got down to his boxers and right before my index finger goes to remove them, a message comes across them.  Remember this is a dream and unexplainable things happen that don’t make sense. Besides the mind blowing sex, it was his boxers.  The first message said, “Take them off.” I told him that his boxers where displaying messages but I am sure all the blood was rushing to elsewhere. The next message said, “Stop talking.” And I did just that.

Once they were off, he flipped me on my back and proceeded to lick me into a stupor. Between moaning and biting the sheets, I couldn’t tell which one of us was suffocating.  Trust, I was able to find my breathe to scream as I came.  I remember reading in a magazine that if you wanted to squirt, you had to push when you felt like you were going to pee and I did just that. Wet face and all, it was my turn to return the favor. I slide my way down his body and took all 8 ½ inches into shelter with my mouth. Using my hands and tongue, I managed to suck another half inch out of him. Licking down the shaft, I tongue his balls and take both into my mouth. I take a deep breath and hum until I feel them vibrating in my mouth. He growls like Lionel in Waiting to Exhale and I am able to see the slight wetness that has formed on the head.  He pulls me up and pins my hands over my head. My wetness sucks his hardness inside me and makes me scream when he digs deep. Before he can give me one good long stroke, I wake up. Ain’t that a bitch?!

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How many crown royals have you had?

Kiss me….

Can you find 15 places on a woman’s body to turn her on…go!

#TheBestSex Trending Topic…#Memories

These are for my safekeeping.. what a fun night!

#thebestsex is when you ask him what you can buy him after an orgasm….u know thats some fire LOL

#thebestsex is when he pulls ur hair…

RT @Craig_Empire#thebestsex is when she can’t remember how many times she kame

RT AMen! @mrsmentifresh: @Craig_Empire your #smoothasswould know! lol

RT Shut yo ass up LOL @i_GoHam#thebestsex is when she wanna take it with her afterwards

RT is re-enrolling back in school LOLOLOL @Craig_Empire:#thebestsex is FINALS sex #LetMeTakeMyStressOutOnYOU!

is signing up for classes on myzou as we tweet….#LBS

#thebestsex is when you have to visit Urgent Care the nest day becus you pulled a muscle #truestory #nolie

#Thebestsex is when you look like a warm glazed Krispy Kreme donut!

#thebestsex is when you tell him that he should be exempt from paying taxes for this shit! LMAO

#thebestsex is when you tell you u should bottle that shit up and sell it #subtweet!

RT AMen! @mrsmentifresh: @Craig_Empire your #smoothasswould know! lol

RT And then have to ask yo ‘friends’ to paint over it so you can get your security deposit back! LMAO @mrsmentifresh@BluAliCat #thebestsex is when you scrap alll the damn paint off yo wall with ya hells! :) lmao

RT No you dont! LOL @SoChiNvrBashful: I need @BluAliCat out of my life right now!!!

RT And add you on my life insurance policy @SoChiNvrBashful#thebestsex have u speaking gibberish and agreeing to everything…yes I’ll co-sign for your car!

#thebestsex is when he nickname you Aquafina…”Yes dear?”

RT @BluAliCat #thebestsex is when he nickname you Aquafina…”Yes dear?”<-lmao! okay funniest tweet hands down! lol

@BluAliCat aquafina!!!! where is my “favorite” button at? Oh okay *click*

#thebestsex is when she nicknames her toy after you…Look at Trey Jr…

Lmmfbao RT @BluAliCat: #thebestsex is when she nicknames her toy after you…Look at Trey Jr…

Clearly I’m not living my life to the max bc @BluAliCat is educating me on this #thebestsex TT

@AsianMaven @BluAliCat you follow her too? so that means you seen all the… lol ohh well lol

RT @BluAliCat #thebestsex involves some kinda of fruit to suck on….along with other things *wink* «<nooooo dean! TMI

RT Got a whole can in the fridge and chocolate in the cupboard @mrsmentifresh:@Craig_Empire all yall #shimmying fools and yall whip cream! lmao

#thebestsex is he make you do his greek call…111111….Yo baby yo baby….Ahhhhh Roo….Bluuuuuuuuu…*crickets*

@BluAliCat you wrong for that dean! lmao but i know the REAL reason you did it hahaah

@BluAliCat *crickets*????? #Dead!

@BluAliCat and the award for best female tweet of the night goes to you -GQbyNature

@BluAliCat kool we kan use it lol